TOP TEN THINGS YOU DON’T WANT TO HEAR IN SURGERY

1 Don’t worry. I think it is sharp enough.

2 Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card?

3 Damn! Page 84 of the manual is missing!

4 Everybody stand back! I lost a contact lens!

5 Hand me that…uh…that uh…..thingie

6 Better save that. We’ll need it for the autopsy.

7 “Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness”

8 Whoa, wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what’s that?

9 “Ya know, there’s big money in kidneys. Hell, he’s got two of’em

10 What do you mean “You want a divorce?”

Nicole Kidman named her daughter Sunday Rose. It seems like a weird name but in comparison to other celebrities’ baby names it sounds quite normal.

Here are the Top 30 weird and craziest celebrity baby names (in alphabetical other).

Apple: Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow Aurelius Cy: Elle Macpherson and Arpad Busson Blue Angel: U2’s The Edge and Aislinn O’Sullivan Bluebell Madonna: Geri Halliwell Brooklyn: David and Victoria Beckham (also parents to Romeo and Cruz) Destry: Steven Spielberg and Kate Capshaw Diezel Ky: Toni Braxton and Keri Lewis (also parents to Denim Cole) Fifi Trixibell: Bob Geldof and Paula Yates (also parents to Peaches and Pixie) Fuchsia: Sting and Frances Tomelty Gaia: Emma Thompson and Greg Wise Gulliver: Gary Oldman and Donya Fiorentino Hopper: Sean Penn and Robin Wright Ireland: Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger Jaz: Steffi Graf and Andre Agassi Kal-El Coppola: Nicholas Cage (Kal-El is Superman’s original birth name) Kyd: David Duchovny and Tea Leoni Liberty: Ryan Giggs strong>Luna Coco Patricia: Frank Lampard and Elen Rive Memphis Eve: Bono Moon Unit: Frank Zappa, also father to Dweezil and Diva Muffin Ocean: Forest Whitaker (also father to Sonnet and True) Pilot Inspektor: Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf Poppy Honey: Jamie and Jules Oliver (also parents to Daisy Boo) Saffron Sahara: Simon and Yasmin Le Bon (also parents to Amber Rose and Tallulah Pine) Sage Moonblood: Sylvester Stallone and Sasha Czack (also parents to Seargeoh) Shiloh Nouvel: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Suri: Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes Tallulah: Bruce Willis and Demi Moore (also parents to Scout and Rumer) Willow Camille Reign: Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith Zola Ivy: Eddie Murphy and Nicole Mitchell

He was in the lead but then his wheels came off…

Of all the place he could land…..

On landing the hostess said, ‘Please be sure to take all your belongings. If you’re going to leave anything, please make sure it’s something we’d like to have.’

‘There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways to leave the aircraft.’

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Auckland , a lone Voice came over the loudspeaker: ‘Whoa, big fella. WHOA!’

From a Airline employee: ‘Welcome aboard Flight X to Y to operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public un-supervised.’

‘In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favourite.

‘Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.’

Another flight attendant’s comment on a less than perfect landing: ‘We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal.’

After a real crusher of a landing in Sydney , the Flight Attendant came on with, ‘Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we’ll open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.’